it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
