you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
