It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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