We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
