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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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