the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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