I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
