Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
