How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
