You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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