is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
