Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
