i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
