Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
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just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
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VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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