Heybabeimwearingurpanties
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
sarcasm needs its own font
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize