I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
