By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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