These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
