just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
