Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
