U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
