It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
