I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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