I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
