We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize