I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
