the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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