Non-Jews are for practice
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
