i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
false alarm, still single
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
