those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
