you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
