Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
