Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
