you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
