he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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