i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
