you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
