WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
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Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
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too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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