Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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