what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
