so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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