i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
