There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
