you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
