We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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