Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
