And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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