I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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