Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I will be naked everywhere
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
