Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
