We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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