Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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