You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Small penises have feelings too.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
