is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
