let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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