the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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