A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
