i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
