Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
