she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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