He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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